


Red Velvet

by orphan_account



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: And talking to each other about heavy subjects like grown-ups do, Cupcakes, Gratuitous use of italics, Homophobia, sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-24 06:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16635089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Kevin. Has it ever occurred in that single minded brain of yours that Exy isn’t the number one priority for everyone in the team? Or that some of us need to work equally as hard as you do on things that aren’t scoring goals such as relationships or their fucking degree?”Or, Nicky explains to Kevin that maybe he should think about his words.





	Red Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who thinks that Nicky didn't get enough screen time.
> 
> Inspired by an interview with JVN that I now can't find.

Kevin pushed the door shut behind him as he walked into Neil and Andrew’s dorm and turned up his nose at the sugary sweet smell of vanilla icing filling the living area. He looked over to see Nicky baking in the kitchen, red velvet cupcakes if the mess was anything to go by, but took no notice of him and walked straight over to where Neil was sitting in one of the beanbag chairs opposite Aaron. The TV was on mute playing Saturday morning cartoons and academic papers littered the coffee table between them. 

“Excites.” Kevin said bluntly. “Ten minutes.”

Aaron scowled at up at him and in the same tone Andrew would have used, he replied “We’re studying. Fuck off.”

Kevin barely spared him a glance before ignoring him as he had Nicky. He nudged Neil’s foot with his own and put his hands in his short’s pockets. “Where’s Andrew?” 

Neil, engrossed in whatever equation he was solving, continued writing and didn’t look up. “Sparring.”

“You’ve got a key though right?”

That made Neil frown. He put down his pen and blew out a huff that made the flop of hair on his forehead fly up. “I’m not driving us to Excites.”

Kevin looked at him like he was being stupid. “Why not?”

“I’m not taking his car without permission. Also I’m busy. Go away.”

Kevin huffed impatiently. “We’re facing the Trojans next week and I need a new mesh kit, mine’s getting thin. Plus I wanted to practice with it this afternoon so it has time to loosen up. What’re you even studying for, you’re never gonna use this crap when you go pro.”

“I _like_ studying.” Neil argued, now chewing distractedly on the end of his pen before he carried on with his homework. “Just wait for Andrew, it’s not that hard.”

“You and your goddamn boyfriend." Kevin whined, swinging himself around on one foot looking more like a grumpy oversized toddler than a semi-professional Exy player. "If you weren’t fucking then this wouldn’t be a problem. Why don't you just date Allison instead, she loves playing dress up with you anyway.”

Aaron laughed nastily at that so Neil kicked him in shin to shut him up, not bothering to grace Kevin with a reply. Aaron swore under his breath as he rubbed the sore spot but got the message and started playing a tutorial on his laptop instead. Kevin opened his mouth to say _I'm still talking, Josten_ when Nicky’s voice, uncharacteristically gentle, sung out from the kitchen. “Kevin why don’t you try talking about something other than Exy? It’s our day off.”

Kevin's face was like thunderclouds. “I wasn’t even talking to you.”

“You’re across the room, I can hear. Just let me finish baking these tiny, tiny cupcakes then I’ll go eat them all in my room while watching Queer Eye, and _you_ can rant about unacceptable point gaps and heterosexuality to your heart’s content, okay?”

“Actually you could probably do with listening," Kevin said, thinking back to the last time he'd seen Nicky. He wandered over to lean against the island in the kitchen, raising a judgemental eyebrow at the back of Nicky's head as he stirred the cake mix. "because you were abysmal at practice yesterday.”

This time there was a long pause before Nicky answered. Kevin didn't even hear the quiet crack in his voice.“Well I’m sorry but I’m having a bad week.” 

“Like that's an excuse.”

He watched as Nicky back went stiff as a board. The stirring stopped. “I know this sport means a lot to you," replied Nicky far too politely, "but I’m kinda dealing with other shit.”

Kevin rolled his eyes and muttered loudly under his breath. “Maybe if you stopped being so lazy about it.”

There was a loud bang from the kitchen where Nicky had slammed down the large ceramic mixing bowl on the counter, batter now splattered over the sides. It made Kevin jump and he turned to ask what the hell his problem was, but one glance at Nicky’s expression made him pause. He looked completely drained and void of colour except for his eyes which were bloodshot red, shiny from the tears welling up in his lower lashes. The wooden spoon he was holding lifted slowly to point at Kevin, shaking slightly in his grip, and it would’ve been remotely threatening if there weren’t dollops of mixture falling off the end to splat on the ground every few seconds.

Kevin could’ve heard a pin drop. Aaron paused his tutorial at the bang and the three boys in the living room just stared at Nicky’s silent outburst.

“Kevin.” Nicky spoke, voice steadier than his hand. “Has it ever occurred in that single minded brain of yours that Exy isn’t the number one priority for everyone in the team? Or that some of us need to work equally as hard as you do on things that _aren’t_ scoring goals such as relationships or their fucking degree?”

Neil and Aaron shared a wide-eyed look then very quickly gathered up their practice tests into a messy pile, bundled them in their arms and skittered out the front door without making a sound. Kevin’s mouth dropped open in shock and he couldn't get anything out except for a strangled sounding "What?" 

Nicky had never spoken up to him like this before.

The wooden spoon went clattering to the ground as Nicky flailed his arms, shouting so loudly the freshmen could probably hear it from two doors down. “You’ve got this- this whole Thing with a capital T going on with the yakuza people which is really super terrifying so I’ve been trying so hard to work harder at practice and work on your criticisms, which you never say nicely by the way, and I’ve been watching games in my free time trying to analyse them the way you and Neil do but athletes are so fit, ya know, and I get distracted? So I scrapped that and asked Andrew to borrow his court keys when you guys are in class-”

“You what?” Kevin interrupted, gobsmacked, but Nicky was worked up and his voice was growing higher in pitch with each sentence. 

“- because it’s embarrassing that I’m not good enough to come to night practices, I know that, and I need my beauty sleep anyways so I was doing those Raven drills by myself and _I suck so hard at them_ oh my god. And then I realised I was wasting my time because I’m never gonna go pro and I’m never gonna be as good as you guys need me to be so maybe I should just accept being the deadweight on the team? I can’t quit obviously because I’m here on a sports scholarship and just because I’m not great at something doesn’t mean I don’t love doing it! I love you guys, I’m not gonna just bow out, so instead I thought hey! I’ll focus on Marketing and ace my degree so maybe I can have a future-”

“Nicky, slow down-” Kevin could barely understand what he was saying but he still listened.

“- in Germany with Erik and work in a cool fashion house with Allison or something but then I got my exam results back two days ago and because I’d spent so much time thinking I would try to make life easier for you and Neil I didn’t have time to study and I f-failed and the look my professor gave me was _so sad_ that I had to face-time Erik for a some moral support! Except- except he didn’t pick up and then I realised it had been like a whole week since I’d spoken to him and I forgot to reply to his last text because it came through while I was in the gym so I ran to the b-bathroom and cried because I’ve been a _t-terrible boyfriend-_.”

“Nicky, you’re sobbing, calm down.” Kevin walked fully into the kitchen until he was standing directly in front of the emotional mess of his teammate and put his hands on Nicky’s shoulders to keep him steady. “Breathe Nicky, it’s okay.” 

“All I wanted today,” Nicky sniffed through his tears. “was to make some happy cupcakes and sit in my bedroom until Erik finished work so I could call him and tell him I love him.”

Kevin remained silent. He had far too many questions and no idea which one to start with. Nicky sighed and wiped away his tears roughly with back of his hands. The looked at each other for a few moments before Nicky seemed to gather himself and his thoughts. He strode over to the couch, grabbing a hold of Kevin’s sleeve to drag him along and pushed him down so they could sit together. It was rare for the two of them to be alone together. Andrew was usually glued to Kevin's side with Neil ambling along behind them. At Eden's Twilight Nicky would wander off into the crowd to dance and makeout with cute strangers while Aaron and Kevin would fire down shots as quick as they could, existing in their own little bubble on the dancefloor. It became clear quickly that neither of them knew what to say to the other while sober and the quiet settled in uncomfortably. 

"Um. Sorry." Nicky started awkwardly. "I didn't mean to unload like that."

"No I-" Kevin was still lost on what to say. He went with the subject he was more familiar with. "How long have you been sneaking extra practices?"

"Like two months? At first I really tried but after five weeks I still couldn't get to grips with a lot of it. It was so stupid, I'm so stupid." Nicky buried his face in his palms looking like he was about to start crying again. Without thinking, Kevin's reached out a hand to Nicky's arm and rubbed up and down soothingly. 

"It's not stupid." He said quietly. "You _have_ been improving. I'm just being a dick." 

Nicky considered that and shrugged, a small smile eventually found it's way on his lips. "Well I'm not gonna disagree..." 

Kevin laughed and muttered a defensive _fuck off_ , relieved that he wasn't completely inept at comforting his friend.

"It's not even the Exy comments that bother me anyway. You're passionate and I love that, I get it. But... Kevin I want you to really listen when I say this because I feel like you've never thought about it and I'm gonna need you to from now on, okay?" Nicky was chewing harshly on the bottom of his lip, this was clearly a subject that had been bothering him for a while and Kevin braced himself for the worst. "I need you to stop talking shit about Neil and Andrew's relationship."

Kevin blinked. "Um. Why?" 

The look Nicky gave him was almost pitying. “You know I'm gay, right?" He said, as if he were asking whether the sky was blue. Kevin just kinda squinted at him and gestured with his hand to say _well duh_ and received an eyeroll in return. Nicky continued, talking slow and clear like he was explaining something to a child. "Well how do you think it feels when I walk into a room and hear you telling Neil that his career is going to be less successful because he's in a relationship with a boy? Or that he should date girls for the convenience of being normal and save his suffering in the long term?" 

All Kevin could manage was a shameful "... That's different?" 

Nicky's eyes sharpened and he gently pushed Kevin's hand off of his arm. "No. It's not." His tone was clipped and short and Kevin wanted to smack his face against the wall because he'd fucked up and pissed Nicky off for the second time in ten minutes. "Neil and Andrew may be able to brush you off but they have stronger souls than I do. It hurts me. Because I'm _really_ gay, Kevin. I didn’t really get a choice when it came to coming out, I can’t act straight, I’m flamboyant and I wear glitter on my cheeks when I want to, I like rainbows for the aesthetic and not just because of the flag.” He sighed and as the breath left his lungs his whole body sunk down into the couch cushions. He looked exhausted. “When you talk about homosexuality the way you do sometimes, it feels like I’m listening through the walls back in my parents’ house, ya know?”

Kevin’s stomach dropped, face paling until his face was four shades lighter than usual. His mouth went dry at the thought of being compared to those horrible, horrible people he met last year. “I’m so sorry Nicky. I didn’t realise.”

“No, it’s okay, I’m not mad. Well, not anymore. I know you weren’t thinking about it like that but like from now on, maybe just keep your mouth shut?”

"Still, I- You're right. It's not fair to any of you. I'll be less of a dick, I promise." He knew apologising more would be a waste of words, it didn't matter if he said he was sorry, he just needed to do what Nicky had asked. There was a weird feeling in Kevin's stomach that he couldn't identify, squirmy and uncomfortable. He knew being gay wasn't a pick-and-choose kind of deal, you just were or you weren't, and thinking back to all the things he'd said to Neil in a critical light made him feel kind of stupid for saying so, even if he did feel justified at the time. There was a question on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't figure out what the words were and focusing on it made the funny feeling do backflips up to his chest so he ignored it instead, making a silent promise to himself to go and google it later. 

"Welp. This has been sufficiently awkward and all but I'm hungry now." Nicky broke the quiet, clapping his hands together enthusiastically as he jumped up off of the sofa. "Come on then you asshole, I'm gonna finish making my cupcakes and if you help me out I might even let you have one." Kevin smiled and stood up, following along behind him. Maybe this could become a more regular thing, hanging out with Nicky without the murder twins and the rookie. Kevin reached the kitchen as Nicky blasted up Carly Rae Jepson on his phone and headed straight for the cake mix, dipping in a finger just to lick it all off. Red velvet had always been his favourite anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of several long discussions between ma boys that helps Kevin learn how to be a better human being and unlock new emotions such as level 1 empathy.


End file.
